Out Of the Depths I Cry to You, O Lord
By Rev. Dr. Jill Westbrook Mason
It had been about a month. Time
seemed to stand still. My husband had died suddenly at age 43 from a heart
attack. We had an 18-month-old baby boy, our only child. I was going through
the motions of life, caring for my baby, but definitely not living life. I was
stoic, I could not find joy. How could people laugh, I wondered, when my life
and joy had been stolen from me? It came like a thief in the night.
That afternoon, as I was
driving home from the grocery store, I was overcome with grief. Up until that
time, I had not allowed myself to grieve, fearing I would be unable to function
and care for my baby. I pulled over to the side of the road, put the car into
park, and pounded the steering wheel while crying out, “God, I need you. I
can’t do this alone. It is too hard.” My bottled-up emotions finally broke
loose.
As I quieted down, I became
aware of the presence of God. I knew without a doubt that God had heard my
cries. Although I did not hear an audible voice, God spoke to me on the side of
that road. I felt a tremendous sense of release and relief, for I knew that God
was with me, I was not alone.
Days passed, and I continued my
conversations with God. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I was mad. But always, I
knew God was walking with me. They say that time heals broken hearts. Time does
lessen the severity, but it is God who heals broken hearts.
Prayer: Gracious and
Compassionate God, I give you thanks for all the times I have cried out to you,
and you have held me as I cried. Thank you for always walking with me, even
when I don’t slow down enough to notice that you are there. I realize that I
have drawn closer to you through my times of pain, and for that I give thanks.
May all my days and all my ways be a blessing to you. In Christ’s name, Amen.
-Rev. Dr. Jill Westbrook Mason
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